CITY OF RENTON WASHINGTON

A person who is being victimized by domestic violence may not have access to money. They may have been prevented from working, or if the victim does work they may not have access to the money. Even if the family has significant financial resources, the abuser may control all of the finances by not allowing access to bank accounts, etc.

The abuser may also sabotage any attempts on the victim's part to get or keep a job. For many victims who do have an income, it is still difficult to support themselves and their children, due in part to escalating housing costs and childcare.

Because isolation is a type of abuse, the person being victimized may not have supportive friends and family to turn to, or if there is support, it may not be safe to go there. The abuser may have access to weapons and know where the friends and family live. The victim may not know about crisis line phone numbers or supportive community resources.

Domestic violence shelters may be full when a victim calls, and it is difficult to call back every day to check space. There are very few confidential shelter beds in most areas.

Physical violence, threats, and intimidation are present in many abusive relationships. The risk of homicide increases when a victim leaves an abusive relationship. Fear of death or serious injury is a very real thing! An abuser may threaten suicide as well as homicide. A situation like this is especially lethal because someone who is suicidal may not be concerned with consequences of their actions.

According to the Washington State Fatality Review Report, "Honoring Their Lives, Learning from Their Deaths" by Margaret Hobart (December 2000), abusers were suicidal in 35% of domestic violence fatalities studied. The report also states that suicidal abusers were more likely to kill multiple victims.

There are social stigmas to those who are victims of domestic violence, as well as divorce and single parenthood. The shame these stigmas cause may make it difficult for victims to reach out for help. The lack of accurate information about domestic violence coupled with social stigmas leads to victims being blamed for the abuse, which creates additional barriers.

Threats of "outing" the victim - Homophobia is very prevalent. In same-sex relationships the abusive partner will often threaten to expose his or her partner's sexual orientation to people who don't know, which may cause the victim to lose his or her support system, friends, family, job, etc. Homophobia can be highlighted by an abuser to make the victim think no one will believe him or her, domestic violence agencies will not help, or that the abuse is deserved because the victim is lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, or trans-gendered.